The book Swoon by Betsy Prioleau was a captivating and fickle read. I never knew of so many words for a lady-killer – roué, rake, Casanova, Don Juan, seducer, Mack, babe magnet, in French he’s called tombeur, in Japanese, ikemen, in Chinese, “color wolf” in Spanish, mujeriego. The others go like this: The real Woman-Pleaser, The Darwinian Alpha Male, The Player Seducer, The Therapy Heartthrob, Real Ladies Men and so on. But I feel there are some good points which young men should take note in their true love companionship campaign to be make it more meaningful, lasting and true marriage.
When & Why women love, get attracted and swooned:
- Élan: A combination of style and vigor, perhaps a exuberant vitality, gaiety and many sided zest for life. A self-confidence, aura of authority, and communicative brilliance. Word Charisma is related to Greek chairein meaning “to rejoice”
- Intensity: All love begins with impact. A personal magnetism that no disposition could wholly resist it. Should have that vim and masculine vigor or need to cultivate
- Sensuality: A bit of pure sensuality and carnal appetite is important to induce fascination, the word’s root is “fascinum” in Latin for “phallus”. Need to have sensitive touch, physical fortitude, A sensual oomph with sweetness, charm and smile goes a long way
- Love of women: If someone empathizes and synchronizes with us, the effect is galvanic. Perhaps brought in women full of family makes you more sympathetic to them. A genuine fondness and liking is important. Treat women right, take care of them and respect them.
- Androgyny: The more feminine the man…the higher the hit rate with the opposite sex. A feminine sweetness, tenderness and an artistic sensitivity in your masculine swank is a must.
- Creativity: Creative people are always mavericks and women always doted them tie immemorial. Singing, dancing, painting and literary skills are always an attraction which adds more vigor to person who performs it.
- Flawed Manhood: Physical disability to certain extent kindles maternal instincts too. Women will protect a wonderful vulnerable person more. It’s an “enigmatic tang” of injury, a pinch of flaw in the confidence brew that fells every time
- Morality/Virtue: Women desire a combination of niceness comingled with fun and boldness served up seductively. A character with decency conveyed by generosity, genuineness, warmth and instinctive kindness is great – to be a real gentleman.
- Courage: Evolutionary psychologists view: Female fondness for male mettle goes back to a physical need for provisions, and status. One way to imbue this is to keep your yourself and share the courage with others
- Spiritual Cultivation: Male spirituality is attractive to women. No wonder we see so many fiascos world over on this – women’s popular romances throng with men of the robes. We look to passionate love to fulfill the same functions as belief: to plug holes in our soul, sanctify and save us , defeat death, and raise us to seventh heaven. One saying is make them happy in bedside and outside.
- Knowledge /Intelligence: Women valued intelligence I men because it predicted economic and social success. Charm with intelligence requires to sparkle with mental energy, surprise, amusement, instruction, upping the drama and surfing the whole realm of knowledge – high, middle and low brow. Sometimes mind over matter ticks too.
- Social IQ: Apart from cognitive intelligence, emotional intelligence is also a must which requires courtesy, tact and intuition. Over brute physical prowess – empathy, rapport, and good manners are the interpersonal finesse to be mastered. . Lavish with gifts, attunement with apt gestures. addled with concern and affection. Tune the social antennae and arts of ingratiation.
- Pleasure: Love is pleasure. To have you loved is another thing. It’s important to relax, gorge the sense and show/have a good time Eros doesn’t operate on long hours of work and work alone but needs some gentle, relaxing, fun-filled and subtle play
- Appearance: Appearances belong to seduction
- The body beautiful: He was brown eyed handsome man
- Fashion and grooming: The greatest provocations of lust are from our apparel
- Setting: Location, location and location
- Music: A sweet voice and music are powerful enticers
- Kinetics/Body Language: You got let your body talk. Bodily movements may appeal to the eye quite as much as bodily proportions
- Sexpertise: Banging, nailing, and screwing isn’t sex, its carpentry
- Gifts & Wallets: Gifts persuade even gods
- The Edible gift: The loves of most people are but the results of good dinners
- The royal Rush: Who loves, raves – love looks not with the eyes but with the mind – Shakespeare
- The wine of praise: O flatter me, for love delights in praises – Shakespeare
- Soul Meld/Intimacy: couples lives should joined like two wheels of a chariot. This calls for nuanced operation and shouldn’t breed codependency and boredom
- Conversation: Women are conquered by eloquent words, so up your colloquial skills to listen, engage, interest and surprise them. And the talk should be to soothe,amuse, entertain, inform and poetically enchant. It also depends how a man moves, uses his voice and listens
- Gesture, Voice & listening: There was speech in dumbness, language in their very gesture – Shakespeare. Manage your personal space well, need a radar for timing and mood and a working knowledge of female “proxemics”. A deep, low and musical voice correlates to empathic abilities. Listening: Loves first talk is to listen.
- Conversational Balm: Be a professional wordsmith and soothing speech is strong elixir, it takes us to delights our infantile state of maternal embrace.
- Laughter: Women need four animals: a wink on the their back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all – old joke. So see more standup comedy,joke books and start practicing them but the trick is to be spontaneous and genuine.
- Fun/Festivity: A escapade holiday, cruise trips, a resort stay with some shows may elevate the mood and keep you stress free
- Novelty & Curiosity: Keep it new or it’s through – an old adage
- Cut and thrust: companionate calm however carries a cost – romantic stagnation. To certain extent a delicate play of combat and truce, pain and pleasure adds spice and should never be overdone.
- Inexhaustible selfhood: be a forever interesting type – complicated, insightful, entertaining, curious and knowledgeable about “everything”. Don’t be cardboard cutouts.
A great book for fiction writers who needs that seductive traps in their narratives to keep the emotional action ongoing between lovers!!