We’re all powerless in the gusty winds of fate and have a false notion of free will to manage our own destiny. This debate is endless since time immemorial where most of them arguing either sides with no victory. One important couplet summarizes this debate to an end:
What powers so great as those of Destiny? Man’s skill
Some other thing contrives; but fate’s beforehand still.
What is stronger than fate? If we think of an expedient (to avert it), it will itself be with us before (the thought).
It rains dogs and cats and it’s true to fate in it’s benign and malignant moments too. So the best anti-dote to handle both sides is through equanimity and to pray that malignant precedes the benign. When you’re aware that your earthly endeavors, however hard you try, can’t displace fate’s power. That’s a great awakening and it’s time to acquiesce to its powers and do the best not to precipitate it but patiently wait for the tide to recede to bring in prosperity in all spheres. The understanding and helplessness is the central part of the awakening and to accept that things are beyond our control and to mind map outcomes and to accept pain as an ingredient to higher order learning. During this process of learning, I cherish this couplet
Smile, with patient, hopeful heart, in troublous hour;
Meet and so vanquish grief; nothing hath equal power.
If troubles come, laugh; there is nothing like that, to press upon and drive away sorrow
Having read so many books, assimilating and applying them, leads to a fundamental shift in your approach to all your endeavors, that is: to be good is to do good always in times of distress and relief, to be respected is to maintain equipoise in times of turmoil and tranquility and to be adored is to learn more philosophy and practice them unwaveringly.
Dan Saffer in his O’rielly book ‘Microinteractions’ brings the point how digital interactions through interfaces be better designed compared to what they are now with numerous examples. He cites how a patron supplied with a new iPhone was unable to stop the alarm from ringing there by marring the Philharmonic conducted by Avery Fisher Hall as reported in New York Times edition on Jan 2012. The premise is ‘alarms still need to sound even when the ringer is turned off’ which lends credence “If mute switch silenced everything, there’d be thousands of people oversleeping every single day because they went to bed the night before unaware that the phone was still silent mode”. My Win Phone is the opposite behavior of IOS device or I’ve not fathomed these micro interactions deeply!
Examples of great micro interactions to emulate: (based on Big Little Details by Jakob Skjerning)
- Disqus sign-up form cleverly guesses your name based on your email address
- Picking a password and providing real-time feedback on the effectiveness of the password as in Twitter password selection form
- If you aren’t logged in and roll over the Comment field, YouTube prompts you to sign in or sign up (with greyed message in the comment box)
- In CloudApp, the login button changes state after being clicked to let users know that an action is happening in the background and it can also display a spinner in the foreground in modal way
- Windows phone, the messaging icon changes to a sad face icon if there was an error sending a message
- Variety of verbs and least possible nouns
- Github automatically selects a credit card type according to the number entered
- When changing App ID password in apple, must have rules are checked off as the user enters them
- Screens and states
- Show a graphic of where the CCV number is in a credit card when entering one such info
- Never allow to put in a future date and say that in a adjoint text space
- simple data evaluation and corresponding predictive application may entice users and ease data entry: Google+ guesses where you work based on friends’ employment
- Proflowers uses the date field under pace to show you the next big holiday when selecting a delivery date
- Absorb Complexity
- date range selection can be more intuitive avoiding end date being before the start date
- family member gender detection when you add one in Facebook
- Smart Defaults
- clicking Report button stops playing the video in YouTube and anticipates the next action
Take simple care of minute things to delight your users and improve productivity and usability without overwhelming – will be a good sell for the product design. A quick read with some profound revelations for the developer-minded design geek – to put your lay man hat while interacting with an interface to design it for best experience that’s delightful.
The book Swoon by Betsy Prioleau was a captivating and fickle read. I never knew of so many words for a lady-killer – roué, rake, Casanova, Don Juan, seducer, Mack, babe magnet, in French he’s called tombeur, in Japanese, ikemen, in Chinese, “color wolf” in Spanish, mujeriego. The others go like this: The real Woman-Pleaser, The Darwinian Alpha Male, The Player Seducer, The Therapy Heartthrob, Real Ladies Men and so on. But I feel there are some good points which young men should take note in their true love companionship campaign to be make it more meaningful, lasting and true marriage.
When & Why women love, get attracted and swooned:
- Élan: A combination of style and vigor, perhaps a exuberant vitality, gaiety and many sided zest for life. A self-confidence, aura of authority, and communicative brilliance. Word Charisma is related to Greek chairein meaning “to rejoice”
- Intensity: All love begins with impact. A personal magnetism that no disposition could wholly resist it. Should have that vim and masculine vigor or need to cultivate
- Sensuality: A bit of pure sensuality and carnal appetite is important to induce fascination, the word’s root is “fascinum” in Latin for “phallus”. Need to have sensitive touch, physical fortitude, A sensual oomph with sweetness, charm and smile goes a long way
- Love of women: If someone empathizes and synchronizes with us, the effect is galvanic. Perhaps brought in women full of family makes you more sympathetic to them. A genuine fondness and liking is important. Treat women right, take care of them and respect them.
- Androgyny: The more feminine the man…the higher the hit rate with the opposite sex. A feminine sweetness, tenderness and an artistic sensitivity in your masculine swank is a must.
- Creativity: Creative people are always mavericks and women always doted them tie immemorial. Singing, dancing, painting and literary skills are always an attraction which adds more vigor to person who performs it.
- Flawed Manhood: Physical disability to certain extent kindles maternal instincts too. Women will protect a wonderful vulnerable person more. It’s an “enigmatic tang” of injury, a pinch of flaw in the confidence brew that fells every time
- Morality/Virtue: Women desire a combination of niceness comingled with fun and boldness served up seductively. A character with decency conveyed by generosity, genuineness, warmth and instinctive kindness is great – to be a real gentleman.
- Courage: Evolutionary psychologists view: Female fondness for male mettle goes back to a physical need for provisions, and status. One way to imbue this is to keep your yourself and share the courage with others
- Spiritual Cultivation: Male spirituality is attractive to women. No wonder we see so many fiascos world over on this – women’s popular romances throng with men of the robes. We look to passionate love to fulfill the same functions as belief: to plug holes in our soul, sanctify and save us , defeat death, and raise us to seventh heaven. One saying is make them happy in bedside and outside.
- Knowledge /Intelligence: Women valued intelligence I men because it predicted economic and social success. Charm with intelligence requires to sparkle with mental energy, surprise, amusement, instruction, upping the drama and surfing the whole realm of knowledge – high, middle and low brow. Sometimes mind over matter ticks too.
- Social IQ: Apart from cognitive intelligence, emotional intelligence is also a must which requires courtesy, tact and intuition. Over brute physical prowess – empathy, rapport, and good manners are the interpersonal finesse to be mastered. . Lavish with gifts, attunement with apt gestures. addled with concern and affection. Tune the social antennae and arts of ingratiation.
- Pleasure: Love is pleasure. To have you loved is another thing. It’s important to relax, gorge the sense and show/have a good time Eros doesn’t operate on long hours of work and work alone but needs some gentle, relaxing, fun-filled and subtle play
- Appearance: Appearances belong to seduction
- The body beautiful: He was brown eyed handsome man
- Fashion and grooming: The greatest provocations of lust are from our apparel
- Setting: Location, location and location
- Music: A sweet voice and music are powerful enticers
- Kinetics/Body Language: You got let your body talk. Bodily movements may appeal to the eye quite as much as bodily proportions
- Sexpertise: Banging, nailing, and screwing isn’t sex, its carpentry
- Gifts & Wallets: Gifts persuade even gods
- The Edible gift: The loves of most people are but the results of good dinners
- The royal Rush: Who loves, raves – love looks not with the eyes but with the mind – Shakespeare
- The wine of praise: O flatter me, for love delights in praises – Shakespeare
- Soul Meld/Intimacy: couples lives should joined like two wheels of a chariot. This calls for nuanced operation and shouldn’t breed codependency and boredom
- Conversation: Women are conquered by eloquent words, so up your colloquial skills to listen, engage, interest and surprise them. And the talk should be to soothe,amuse, entertain, inform and poetically enchant. It also depends how a man moves, uses his voice and listens
- Gesture, Voice & listening: There was speech in dumbness, language in their very gesture – Shakespeare. Manage your personal space well, need a radar for timing and mood and a working knowledge of female “proxemics”. A deep, low and musical voice correlates to empathic abilities. Listening: Loves first talk is to listen.
- Conversational Balm: Be a professional wordsmith and soothing speech is strong elixir, it takes us to delights our infantile state of maternal embrace.
- Laughter: Women need four animals: a wink on the their back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all – old joke. So see more standup comedy,joke books and start practicing them but the trick is to be spontaneous and genuine.
- Fun/Festivity: A escapade holiday, cruise trips, a resort stay with some shows may elevate the mood and keep you stress free
- Novelty & Curiosity: Keep it new or it’s through – an old adage
- Cut and thrust: companionate calm however carries a cost – romantic stagnation. To certain extent a delicate play of combat and truce, pain and pleasure adds spice and should never be overdone.
- Inexhaustible selfhood: be a forever interesting type – complicated, insightful, entertaining, curious and knowledgeable about “everything”. Don’t be cardboard cutouts.
A great book for fiction writers who needs that seductive traps in their narratives to keep the emotional action ongoing between lovers!!