Great British Humor– from the mammoth book…GBH by Michael Powell

Some quotes I think great to keep forever:

Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex, and men need to have sex to feel loved,  so that basic act of continuing the species requires a lie from one of you – Bill Connolly
I owe my success to have listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite – G.K. Chesterton
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones – John Peel
Reality can destroy the dream; why can’t the dream destroy the reality ? – George Moore
All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive – Dylan Moran
All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it – Samuel Butler
Life is a tragedy when seem in close-shot but a comedy in long shot – Charlie Chaplin
The cocks may crow, but it’s the hen that lays the egg – Margaret Thatcher
The total amount of undesired sex endured by a woman is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution – Bertrand Russell
In a happy marriage, it is the wife who provides the climate, the husband the landscape. – Gerald  Brenan
You got to be married, haven’t you? You can’t go through life being happy? – Colin Crompton
Time misspent in youth is sometimes all the freedom one ever has – Anita Bruckner
I used to desire many many things but now I have only one desire and that’s to get rid of all my other desires  – John Cleese
Multitasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously – Jeremy Clarkson
I always arrive late at the office but I make up for it by leaving early – Charles Lamb
To do great work a man must be very idle as well as very industrious – Samuel Butler
We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A clock – Dave Allen